5 Strategies to Be Assertive at Work Without Being Hard to Work With

READING TIME - 5 MINUTES

In this newsletter, I’m going to show you how to be more assertive at work—something that’s crucial for career growth.

Every executive has mastered the skill of assertiveness, and if you want to move up in your career, you need to develop it, too.

But it’s a fine line—a big difference between being assertive and being hard to work with.

Today, I’m going to help you find that balance.

Assertiveness is essential for success in the workplace.

When assertive, you communicate your needs, boundaries, and opinions clearly and confidently.

You stand up for yourself without being aggressive or overbearing, which is a trait that sets strong leaders apart.

Unfortunately, many people struggle with assertiveness at work.

They either avoid confrontation altogether or come off too strong, which makes it hard for others to collaborate with them.

Why People Struggle With Assertiveness

• Many avoid being assertive because they’re worried about conflict or confrontation. The thought of an uncomfortable conversation often makes them retreat instead of speaking up.
• Some feel they don’t deserve to speak up or have their opinions heard. A lack of confidence often prevents people from voicing their ideas or advocating for what they want.
• It’s easy to confuse assertiveness with aggression. Many are afraid of coming off as rude, bossy, or difficult to work with, so they choose to stay silent instead.
• The idea of challenging others can feel uncomfortable, especially when it might disrupt the status quo. People avoid assertiveness because it feels easier to go along with things than to rock the boat.
• In some environments, assertiveness isn’t encouraged or even appreciated. When the culture doesn’t support speaking up, it becomes harder to express your opinions without feeling alienated.

Now, here’s the good news:

You can absolutely learn how to be assertive without coming off as difficult to work with.

Let me break it down for you step by step.

Step 1: Start by Understanding Your Own Needs

The first step to being assertive is understanding what you need.

You can’t communicate confidently if you don’t know what you want or expect.

Start by reflecting on your goals, boundaries, and what you want to achieve in conversations.

This clarity will help you speak up when necessary.

For example, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with your workload, be assertive by letting your manager know that you need support or more time to meet deadlines.

By identifying your needs and clearly communicating them, you won’t just speak up—you’ll do so in a way that shows you’re proactive about finding solutions.

Step 2: Use "I" Statements to Take Ownership

One of the easiest ways to communicate assertively without sounding aggressive is by using “I” statements.

This helps you take ownership of your feelings and needs without blaming others.

Instead of saying, “You’re overwhelming me with this task,” try, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and could use some help with this task.”

This simple shift in language makes all the difference.

It allows you to express your feelings clearly while avoiding the blame game.

It also opens up a conversation instead of shutting it down.

Step 3: Learn the Power of Saying “No”

Learning to say no is one of the most important aspects of assertiveness.

It’s easy to say yes to everything, but overcommitting will only lead to burnout and resentment.

Saying no isn’t about being rude—it’s about setting healthy boundaries and respecting your own time.

For instance, if you’re asked to take on a new project that you know will interfere with your current responsibilities, it’s okay to say no or suggest a later time.

“I’d love to help with this project, but right now, my plate is full. Can we revisit this next week?”

Step 4: Stay Calm and Respectful

Assertiveness doesn’t mean being aggressive or demanding.

It’s about expressing yourself calmly and respectfully, even in challenging situations.

When you stay calm, you’ll be able to think more clearly and respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively.

If you’re in a meeting and someone interrupts you, instead of raising your voice, calmly say, “I’d like to finish my thought, and then I’m happy to hear your perspective.”

This shows confidence without aggression.

Step 5: Practice Active Listening

Being assertive isn’t just about speaking up—it’s also about listening.

When you listen actively, you show respect for others’ opinions, which helps build a positive working relationship.

By understanding the perspectives of others, you can express your ideas in a way that’s more likely to be received well.

For example, if you’re negotiating for a higher budget or more resources for your team, listen to the concerns of your manager or peers.

Acknowledge their concerns, and then assertively present your case, backed with facts and solutions.

By mastering these strategies, you can be assertive at work without being hard to work with.

It’s all about finding the right balance: expressing your needs confidently while respecting others.

Assertiveness is a skill that takes time to develop, but with practice, it can become second nature and will set you apart as a strong, effective leader.

Remember, being assertive isn’t about overpowering others—it’s about empowering yourself to communicate confidently and respectfully, ensuring your voice is heard and your needs are met.