9 Phrases Top Leaders NEVER Say & What They Say Instead

READING TIME - 5 MINUTES

Effective leadership is about more than just making decisions.

It’s also about how you communicate.

Sometimes, the phrases we casually throw around can actually weaken our authority and influence.

In this newsletter, I will share eight phrases that top leaders avoid and explain what you should say instead to communicate confidently and clearly.

1. "To Be Honest"

Using this phrase can make others wonder: What about everything else you’ve said?

By implying that what you’re saying now is more truthful than before, you risk casting doubt on your previous words.

Speak directly and with confidence—there’s no need for qualifiers.

Say exactly what’s on your mind without using extra phrases that might confuse the message.

2. "Trust Me"

Asking someone to trust you puts the focus on the request, not on the relationship or your actions.

Trust is something you build over time, not something you demand in a sentence.

Earn trust through your consistent actions.

Instead of "trust me," demonstrate your reliability through your work, your follow-through, and your transparency.

3. "Sorry to Bother You"

This phrase diminishes your power and can come across as passive.

You shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize for asking questions or requesting help from your team.

Be confident in your requests.

For example, say, “I need your input on something,” or “Let’s discuss this when you have a moment.”

Own the conversation.

4. "Let Me Check and Get Back to You"

While it’s okay not to have all the answers right away, this phrase can signal that you weren’t prepared or thought through everything beforehand.

As a leader, you need to show that you’ve done your homework.

What to Say Instead: When possible, give a confident response or outline a clear plan:

“I’ll gather the necessary details and update you by [specific time].”

It shows you’ve thought things through and are organized.

5. "I’m Not Sure"

This phrase can imply hesitation and uncertainty, which can erode confidence in your leadership.

Instead of saying you don’t know, show that you have a plan to figure it out.

What to Say Instead: "I’ll look into that and follow up with you shortly,"

or "Let me find the information and get back to you."

It shows proactivity and leadership.

6. "Can I Get Your Feedback?"

While feedback is important, phrasing it this way can make you sound uncertain about your ability to grow.

Instead of asking for feedback as a request, take ownership of it.

What to Say Instead: Be specific: “I’d love your thoughts on how I can improve this approach,” or

“Can you help me identify areas where I can do better?”

Take control of your growth and ask for actionable advice.

7. "I Haven’t Heard Back From You"

This can come off as passive-aggressive or impatient.

While it’s important to follow up, blaming someone for not responding isn’t the most effective way to get a reply.

Keep it polite and professional:

“Just following up on my previous message” or

“I wanted to check in with you on this.”

It keeps the conversation open and friendly without putting pressure on the other person.

8. "TBD" (To Be Determined)

Leaving things as “TBD” creates uncertainty and a lack of accountability.

It might give the impression that you’re not taking control of decisions.

Set deadlines and offer clarity:

“We’ll finalize this by Friday” or “Let’s review this by the end of the week and make a decision.”

Being clear and decisive ensures your team knows when things will be wrapped up.

9. "I Told You So"

Using this phrase can come across as condescending and may damage relationships within your team.

Alternative: "Let's analyze what we can learn from this situation."

Final words…

The words we use as leaders say a lot about us—whether we know it or not.

Simple phrases can subtly influence how we’re perceived, so it's important to be mindful of what we say and how we say it.

Replace these weak phrases with more confident, direct alternatives, and you’ll project the kind of leadership that inspires trust and respect.

Now, take a moment to think about your communication style—what’s one phrase you’ll stop using today?

NOTE: The insightful video 7 Phrases Leaders Should Stop Saying inspired this list of leadership communication tips.