No One Likes Performance Reviews. Here’s How to Change That

READING TIME - 4 MINUTES

If you’re a leader, there’s one responsibility you can’t afford to get wrong—performance management.

Because how you handle it sets the tone for everything that follows: motivation, growth, trust, and retention.

But let’s be real.

Most leaders don’t love doing it.

Some rush through it.

Others avoid it altogether.

Why?

Because no one ever taught them how to do it well.

They’ve had bad experiences—either giving feedback or receiving it.

And often, they’re afraid it’ll damage the relationship with their team.

But here’s the thing: performance reviews don’t have to be awkward or dreaded.

Done right, they become a conversation your employee actually looks forward to.

A chance to reflect, connect, and grow.

Let’s walk through a better way.

Here are 4 steps to guide a performance conversation your team will actually appreciate:

(Step 1) -  Break the Ice. Be a Human.

Don’t jump right into the feedback. Take a minute to connect.

Ask how they’re feeling. Ask how things are going.

It’s a small step—but it builds comfort, and reminds them this is a two-way conversation, not a lecture.

(Step 2) -  Don’t Start With Your Opinion

Even if you’ve formed a strong view (positive or negative), hold off.

Start by listening.

Because when people feel heard, they’re more open to what comes next.

(Step 3) -  Start With What Went Well – Then Build Together

Ask them:

“What’s one or two things you’re proud of this period?”

Let them speak first. Then add your own list of things they did well.

This shows that you’re paying attention—and that you’re not just focused on what needs fixing.

Then ask:

“What’s one or two things you feel you could’ve done better, or differently?”

Let them reflect, then gently add your thoughts.

It’s not about catching mistakes—it’s about creating space to grow.

(Step 4) - Inspire the Next Chapter

Finish by looking forward.

What does success look like in the next quarter?

What will you do to support them? What will you work on together?

Let them leave the conversation feeling challenged—but also supported.

Here’s what happens when you follow these steps:

• Your employee feels understood.
• They know you see their wins and not just their weaknesses.
• They open the door for honest feedback—because they know it’s coming from a place of help, not critique.

And most importantly?

They’ll go the extra mile—because they know you’re in it with them.

You don’t need to be perfect at this.

You just need to be present, thoughtful, and real.

That’s the kind of performance management people want to show up for.