Hard Work Will Not Protect You From Toxic Culture

Career · Leadership

By Feras Asakrieh · 5 min read · Issue #35

Iwas driving home the night everything fell apart.

Earlier that day, the biggest project I was leading got pulled. Not by me. Not with me in the room. People I worked with every day had gone behind closed doors and raised concerns straight to the C-suite. No conversation with me first. No chance to explain. Just a decision that landed on my desk secondhand.

I sat in my car outside my house for twenty minutes.

Then I picked up my phone and dialed the number I would need to call to resign. I hung up before it connected.

That night I opened my laptop and wrote the email that would end my time there. I wrote it three times. Rewrote the subject line. Sat with my finger over send.

I never sent it.

Silence Is a Role Too

For months before that night, I told myself I was staying out of it. I was the one grinding, heads down, building the thing we were actually supposed to be building while everyone else played politics. I thought that made me safe. It made me exposed.

Ignoring a toxic culture doesn't make you neutral. It makes you a participant who doesn't know it yet. My role in the toxicity wasn't backstabbing or forming alliances. My role was pretending it wasn't my problem until it became the only problem.

Why Smart People Stay Quiet

The trap isn't laziness or cowardice. It's the belief that hard work is a shield. That if you just build a good enough thing, the politics will sort themselves out around you. They won't. Politics fills every space you leave empty.

"If I just do great work, I shouldn't have to play politics too."

"Staying quiet keeps me out of the crossfire."

"I don't have time to track who's aligned with who. I have a job to do."

"If I speak up, I'll look dramatic. Or worse, political."

"Someone above me will eventually fix this."

Here's What Actually Turned It Around

1. Disconnect the Feeling From the Project

The turning point for me wasn't a tactic. It was a mindset. I told myself I was okay to lose the job. Not because I wanted to. Because knowing I could survive without it took the power away from everyone using my fear against me. The night I didn't send that resignation email, what changed wasn't my anger. It was realizing I didn't need the fight to be personal anymore. I could show up the next day and treat the whole mess like a problem to solve, not a threat to survive.

2. Learn the Game Before You Play It

Pay attention to what people actually say in meetings, not just the agenda. I started watching who nodded when who spoke, who went quiet when a certain name came up. Within a few weeks I had a real map of the room, one that had nothing to do with titles.

3. Build Your Own Record

Document everything. After every important conversation, I sent a two-line recap email. "Confirming we agreed on X, I'll move forward with Y." Not because I didn't trust people. Because when things got tense, I needed something firmer than my memory of who said what.

4. Get Alignment Before You Execute

Before I made any real decision on that project again, I looped in the people it touched, even the ones I didn't love working with. It slowed me down by a day. It also meant nobody had an excuse to walk into a closed-door meeting and say I went rogue.

5. Deal With It Same-Day

"I'm too busy" was the excuse I used to avoid conflict, hoping it would resolve on its own. It never did. If something felt off in a meeting, I addressed it that day, even if it was just a short message. Waiting a week just gave a problem a week to grow into something bigger.

Final Thoughts

I got that project back on track. The team found its footing again, at least for a while. I want to tell you I fixed the culture. I didn't. I survived it, and I helped steady what I could reach.

I ended up leaving that company anyway, for reasons that had nothing to do with any of this.

But here's what I know now that I didn't know sitting in that car. A strategy for dealing with a toxic boss or culture isn't complete unless it includes a real exit plan, evaluated with the same seriousness as everything else. Not as a threat. Not as a fantasy you replay when things get bad. As an option you've actually thought through, so it's there if you need it.

I never sent that resignation email. But knowing I could have was the only reason I found the strength to stay as long as I needed to, on my own terms.

One More Thing

I'm thinking about putting together a full guide, maybe a course, on navigating a toxic boss or culture without losing yourself or your job in the process. Before I spend the time building it, I want to hear from you. Reply to this email or DM me and tell me what you'd want covered. If enough of you tell me it's worth building, I'll build it.

And if you're dealing with something like this right now and can't wait for it to come out, you can book time with me directly. Let's figure it out together.

Hard Work Will Not Protect You From Toxic Culture

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