Feras Asakrieh

โ† Back to The Unwritten Rules

Your Best People Should Be Able to Leave You

by Feras Asakrieh
Aug 01, 2026
Career  ยท  Leadership
By Feras Asakrieh  ยท  4 min read  ยท  Issue #33
 
Tuesday. Big executive review. I am already in the room when Alex walks in.
No text this time.
After twelve years, I noticed.
Who Walked In Twelve Years Ago?
Alex was not ready.
Smart, no question. But rough in all the ways that matter in corporate rooms.
Over-explained every idea. Repeated points that had already landed. In meetings, Alex would glance at me mid-sentence, looking for a small nod that said: keep going.
Before every high-stakes presentation, same message every time.
"Do I look nervous?"
Every. Single. Time.
Twelve Years
I could have kept Alex comfortable. Sheltered from the hard rooms. Coached just enough to get by.
I did not do that.
I had real conversations. The kind that are not in any leadership manual.
I told Alex things about how to show up, how to read a room, how to speak with weight even when you do not feel it.
Some of it landed easy. Some of it hurt to hear.
Alex heard all of it anyway.
Twelve years of that.
The Room on a Tuesday
The executive review starts. The table is full.
The kind of people who ask questions that end careers if you answer them wrong.
Alex walks in and does not look at me once.
Not for reassurance. Not for a nod. Not to check if the room is safe.
Alex just begins.
I watched from across the table. Every hard question answered without a pause. No searching for a lifeline. No glancing around.
At some point I stopped watching the presentation.
I started watching something else.
I was watching what twelve years looks like when it works.
Three Weeks Later
Alex came to my office and sat down.
A director role. Another company. A bigger room than I could offer.
Alex was taking it.
My first feeling was the loss. Twelve years has a weight to it.
My second feeling landed quieter. But it stayed longer.
This is exactly what I was trying to do.
The Second Feeling
Most leaders measure success by how much their team needs them.
The meetings that do not start without you. The decisions that wait for your input. The person who still texts you before walking into a room.
That feels like leadership.
It is not.
Real leadership is building someone until they do not need you anymore.
If the people you have invested years into cannot leave you, you have not developed them. You have made them dependent.
Alex walked out of my office heading toward something I could not have given.
That is not a loss.
That is the whole point.
Who on your team are you developing to stay, and who are you developing to fly?
Reply and tell me. I read every response.
See you next Saturday.
Feras
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Before You Go
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